Thursday, 1 September 2011

A Busy 24 Hours for Dorking Ladies on Transfer Deadline Day

Despite several approaches for players, Dorking Ladies had a quiet transfer deadline day yesterday.

The Chicks brought in forwards Sharna Rutley-Stent and Daisy ‘Torres’ on free transfers earlier in the summer, while creative midfielder Andreia Veiga departed Meadowbank in a groundbreaking deal worth 49p and a packet of Quavers – much to the delight of Jess Pickett who is now using the crisps as a new training aid.

Veiga’s new club have yet to unveil their new protégée, but we understand she was snapped up by Andre Villas-Boas when Daniel Levy put the brakes on Luka Modric’s move to Stamford Bridge.

Dorking boss Vicky Hynes has yet to dabble in the transfer market, with Alan ‘Ali G’ Gardener keeping an ever watchful eye on the purse-strings, although it is believed that the club are still interested in signing former player Amy Fazackerley as back-up for ‘keeper Mikki Hough.

Hynes instead has been spending deadline day fending off approaches for members of her current squad. It is understood that midfielder Gemma Wilson has been the subject of an enquiry from Harry Redknapp, who is looking to fill the gap left by the injured and stroppy Rafael Van der Vaart. But ‘Arry was put-off completing a deal when he learned of Wilson’s volatile attitude towards match officials, meaning she would be unavailable for the majority of Spurs’ matches through suspension.

Arsene Wenger is believed to have spent best part of the day sending increasingly desperate emails to Dorking Chairman Mick Muggeridge, asking to sign anyone with a pair of boots. After being rebuffed on several occasions by Muggeridge, the Arsenal boss was spotted camping in his front garden in a desperate bid to boost his depleted squad. If Wenger held out until 9.30pm, sources close to the Surrey club say Muggeridge may have been willing to discuss a deal which would have seen defender Steph Thorbes move to the Emirates on a season-long loan. But Wenger is believed to want a centre-half who heads the ball. He is happy, however, to see Thorbes’ dog Alfie become the Gunners’ new mascot.

It is also rumoured that Manchester United made a shock bid for Dorking striker Shellie Villette, with boss Sir Alex Ferguson telling the press: “We have made an approach for Villette to bring something different to our very young side. ‘Maturity’ and ‘experience’ are the words commonly touted about in these situations.” Villette turned 30 midway through last season.

Newly promoted QPR, meanwhile, dropped their interest in midfielder/centre forward Laura Browning, despite her impressive showing last campaign. It is rumoured that Neil Warnock did not think having Browning and new signing Joey Barton in the same team would be a good idea. Although, Warnock upped his interest in left-back Fliss Burns saying, “We understand Burns has a lot of work commitments in her role as a police officer, but she would be a great addition to the squad. Although we’ve yet to complete the signing, we’ve already reserved her place in the changing room alongside Joey Barton.”

Barton’s former employers, Newcastle United, swooped for Dorking’s Lauren ‘decibel’ Sutton as a direct replacement for the loud and aggressive midfielder. Alan Pardew does not believe any further comments on the situation are required at this stage.

Left-back Kelsey Hutchinson was contacted by rugby League side Leeds Rhinos, believing they could utilise her ‘direct’ style of play.

Meanwhile, the strangest request of the day came from Finland head coach Mixu Paatelainen, who wanted to make enquiries into whether mother-daughter duo Emma and Sharna Rutley-Stent had any Finnish heritage. The nation are looking to put themselves firmly back on the footballing map by outdoing rivals Iceland, who once historically substituted Arnor Gudjohnsen for son Eidur.

Dorking boss Vicky Hynes has confirmed the Chicks will be making an official complaint to the FA regarding the number of her players who were disrupted by transfer rumours on deadline day. The club are thought to be especially unhappy by illegal approaches for centre-half Shaney Bolton and midfielder Lauren Hutchinson, who they say have been illegally 'tapped-up' for several weeks. Hynes did not wish to name the club in question, however Arsene Wenger volunteered to say he "didn't see it."

Stand-in left-back Marie Rogerson is due to be sent on loan until January to gain first-team experience at Oxford. The only member of the Dorking squad who has not yet been the subject of an enquiry is midfielder Hannah Duncan, whose open-goal miss last season has been made public knowledge since appearing on the ‘What Happened Next’ round on A Question of Sport.