This week on the Sporting Behaviour podcast, Hannah Duncan speaks to sports psychologists James Beale and Amanda Owens about young foreign footballers coming to England, and how the move away from their home and family can affect them as both players and people.
This podcast forms part of my major multi-media project for my (BA) hons Multi-Media Journalism degree. For more of my work on this subject, and many others in the sporting world, keep checking the blog.
Monday, 21 February 2011
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Sports Psychologist Interviews
Here are the clips of interviews with sports psychologists Amanda Owens and James Beale, which will form the majority of the podcast about young foreign footballers coming to England, for my University major project.
The length of the clips currently stand at 3 minutes 28 seconds...I have to cut it down to around 1 minute 30 seconds...so if you guys could have a listen and give me any feedback on bits you think are unnecessary or just plain boring, that'd be cool!
Sports Psychologist Interviews
The length of the clips currently stand at 3 minutes 28 seconds...I have to cut it down to around 1 minute 30 seconds...so if you guys could have a listen and give me any feedback on bits you think are unnecessary or just plain boring, that'd be cool!
Sports Psychologist Interviews
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Young foreign footballers in England - Interactive Map
This interactive map documents the locations of young foreign footballers playing in England. Click on the markers for details or select 'categorised markers' on the right-hand panel for a comprehensive list of featured clubs.
For more on the subject, including exclusive interviews with Chelsea's Gael Kakuta and Wolves defender George Elokobi, click here.
For more on the subject, including exclusive interviews with Chelsea's Gael Kakuta and Wolves defender George Elokobi, click here.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Young foreign players in England - slideshow
This photo gallery shows the wealth of young foreign talent currently playing in the English Premier League and Football League.
For more on the subject, including exclusive interviews with Chelsea's Gael Kakuta and Wolves defender George Elokobi, click here.
For more on the subject, including exclusive interviews with Chelsea's Gael Kakuta and Wolves defender George Elokobi, click here.
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Centenary Celebrations
It’s taken 17 years, a sum of money which means my bank statements are in the shredder the second they drop through the letterbox and a 500-mile round trip to Accrington on a freezing Tuesday night in January - but I’ve finally reached the 100 football grounds milestone.
From Kingsmeadow at the tender age of four to Dorchester Town’s Avenue stadium on Saturday, various fixtures and random impulses have taken me to such fantastic grounds as Stamford Bridge (more times than I care to remember), Old Trafford (more times than most Manchester United ‘fans’) and Camp Nou (more times than my dad’s credit card would appreciate!).
But it’s not all been glitz and glamour with – no offence to the following – the Dorking’s decrepit Meadowbank, Ringwood Town’s Canotec Stadium and Wembley (Vale Farm, before you ask) also making the list.
As well as holding my helmet and bat aloft in celebration, I’ve also decided to mark the occasion with a mini awards ceremony.
Best Pre-Match Drinking Facilities
Nominations: Oakwell (Barnsley), The War Memorial Sports Ground (Carshalton Athletic), Stonebridge Road (Ebbsfleet United)
Winner: Oakwell (Barnsley)
Let's begin with the most important category! Although it has no bearing on later categories (namely 'Best Ground')! Despite being shepherded into a leisure centre sports hall selling cans of beer on arrival, we eventually escaped to a very quaint (not to mention reasonably priced!) pub not far from the ground. With a mixture of home and visiting fans enjoying the hospitality, a great atmosphere began building with banter flying backwards and forwards. It all seemed very typical of south Yorkshire and certainly added to the experience of the trip.
Worst Pre-Match Drinking Facilities
Nominations: Priory Lane (Eastbourne Borough - despite boasting probably the best bar in non-league football), Pride Park (Derby County), Crown Ground (Accrington Stanley)
Winner: Pride Park (Derby County)
A 'new ground' in the middle of nowhere, offering little in terms of pre-match beverage facilities except a Frankie and Benny's opposite - which we all piled into, much to the delight of the unsuspecting diners! Needless to say, it was soon 'ram'-packed, with no-one able to get to the bar and people spilling onto the pavement outside for oxygen. Maybe home fans would have a better idea of where to go, but for the average away fan, a ground with a selection of local amenities, where natives and visitors can enjoy some pre-match banter is far more appealing.
Best Food
Nominations: New Lodge (Billericay Town), Atspeed Stadium (Horsham), Wheatsheaf Park (Staines Town)
Winner: New Lodge (Billericay Town)
Whilst many a non-league fan will fight the corner of Thurrock's 'Fleet Burger', I've yet to have the pleasure, although had I managed to make the trip through the Dartford Tunnel, it would take an amazing piece of culinary skill to beat Billericay's steak baguettes. This mouth-watering prospect - available in a variety of forms, including with onions, mushrooms or even fried eggs, causes fans of clubs throughout the Ryman Premier League to hunt frantically for their side's away trip to New Lodge when the fixtures are released each year. And it's well worth the trip...and starving youself for a week ahead of the game to feast upon one at half time and maybe even a cheeky one through a dull and dreary second-half.
Best Atmosphere
Nominations: War Memorial Sports Ground (Carshalton Athletic), Selhurst Park (Crystal Palace), Old Trafford (Manchester United)
Winner: Old Trafford (Manchester United)
As much as it pains me to say it, on each occasion I've been to Old Trafford the atmosphere has been outstanding, both in terms of volume and humour. With the capacity of the ground, this shouldn't be a surprise, but with the 'big clubs' you never really know what to expect, especially with so many foreign visitors and 'once-a-season' supporters crawling out of the woodwork. But credit to the real Manchester United faithful, they do generate a great atmosphere and their unity is evident with the amount of green and yellow on view at games.
Worst Atmosphere
Nominations: Gander Green Lane (Sutton United), Camp Nou (Barcelona), The Pilot Field (Hastings United)
Winner: Camp Nou (Barcelona)
A crazy suggestion to some, with a collosal capacity of 99, 354 the Barca faithful must be able to generate some noise...and boy do they! But for the away fans, hoisted up in the Gods with the players below resembling little more than Subbuteo figures, it's next to impossible to make yourselves heard. And only one set of visibly (well...to the ears...) vocal fans doesn't equate to much of an 'atmosphere', unlike grounds where supporters engage in a battle of volume and wits to act as that all imporant and clichéd 'twelfth man'.
Best Design
Nominations: Millennium Stadium, Griffin Park (Brentford), The New Defence (Horley Town)
Winner: Griffin Park (Brentford)
A pub on each corner you say? That'll do for me!
Worst Design
Nominations: Princes Park (Dartford), Imperial Fields (Tooting and Mitcham United), Wembley Stadium (New)
Winner: Imperial Fields (Tooting and Mitcham United)
Having sold their old Sandy Lane ground and purchasing land previously used as both Chelsea's and Crystal Palace's training ground, the opportunity to spend their finances wisely and build something impressive from scratch was there for the taking. But sadly it slipped through the architect's grasp. Firstly, the main stand looks like it's been put together with leftover bricks from James May's life-size Lego house. But instead of being bright and welcoming, the whole ground is just a big monotone monstrosity. The opposite side to the main stand is very narrow, despite stretching the length of the touchline and behind the goals are 'coverings' - I use the term loosely - which helpfully have no back, sides or even roof. Go figure.
Best Ground
Nominations: Oakwell (Barnsley), Mestalla (Valencia), Stamford Bridge (Chelsea)
Winner: Oakwell (Barnsley)
With Camp Nou, the Mestalla and the Luzhniki Stadium all making my centenary list, Barnsley's modest offering may seem like an odd selection. But on my one visit to Oakwell, despite the result (a 1-0 win against Chelsea in the FA Cup), though probably aided by the cheap northern beer on offer, I completely fell in love with the place. Brimming with character and a real example of an old-school ground of hard knocks, Oakwell is a fine showground for how stadiums should be - not this Ikea flatpack style creeping in now (see Pride Park, St Mary's and even the likes of Wheatsheaf Park in the non-league game). Take a bow Barnsley and don't let the fame change you!
Worst Ground
Nominations: Pride Park (Derby County), Melbourne Stadium (Chelmsford City), the Withdean (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Winner: The Withdean (Brighton and Hove Albion)
A very peculiar ground that offers absolutely nothing, not even a roof (I'll come back to that in a minute). Now admittedly I've been regularly spoiled with trips to top flight grounds around Europe, with superb facilities both inside and outside the ground, especially Stamford Bridge with 'Chelsea Village'. But the Withdean's surroundings are shockingly poor and certainly set the scene for when you go through the turnstiles. The athletics track I was prepared for, but perhaps i should have paid closer attention the the Football League Show on a Saturday night to realise what i was letting myself in for. My experience may have been tainted a bit (ok, a lot) by the fact that it pissed it down for 90 minutes plus and we were in a stand with no roof, surrounded by well-versed folks in waterproof dresses. But the disjointed stands, with the away end seemingly stuck out in the middle of nowhere, and the distance from the pitch thanks to the athletics track certainly didn't help matters. At least I can say I've been...and survived...
And special mentions for...
The Avenue (Dorchester Town), Lodge Road (Yate Town), Fratton Park (Portsmouth), The Dripping Pan (Lewes) and Dean Court (AFC Bournemouth)
The full 100 is as follows:
1. Accrington Stanley – Crown Ground
2. AFC Bournemouth - Dean Court (Fitness First Stadium)
3. AFC Hornchurch – The Stadium
4. Aldershot Town – The Rec
5. Andover – The Portway Stadium
6. Arsenal – Highbury
7. Ashford Town (Kent) - Homelands
8. Ashford Town (Mx) – Short Lane Stadium
9. Aston Villa – Villa Park
10. Aveley – Mill Field
11. Barcelona – Nou Camp
12. Barnsley – Oakwell
13. Bexhill United – The Polegrove
14. Billericay Town – New Lodge
15. Bishop’s Stortford – Woodside Park
16. Bognor Regis Town – Nyewood Lane
17. Boreham Wood – Meadow Park
18. Brentford – Griffin Park
19. Brighton and Hove Albion – The Withdean
20. Bromley – Hayes Lane
21. Canvey Island – Park Lane
22. Cambridge City – The City Ground
23. Cambridge United – The Abbey Stadium
24. Carshalton Athletic – War Memorial Sports Ground
25. Charlton Athletic – The Valley
26. Chelmsford City – Melbourne Stadium
27. Chelsea – Stamford Bridge
28. Chipstead – High Road
29. Crawley Town – Broadfield Stadium
30. Crystal Palace – Selhurst Park
31. Dartford – Princes Park
32. Derby County – Pride Park
33. Dorchester Town – The Avenue
34. Dorking - Meadowbank
35. Dover Athletic – The Crabble
36. Eastbourne Borough – Priory Lane
37. Eastbourne Town – The Saffrons
38. Eastbourne United – The Oval
39. East Thurrock United – Rookery Hill
40. Ebbsfleet United – Stonebridge Road
41. Fareham Town – Cams Alders
42. Folkestone Invicta – The Buzzlines Stadium
43. Fulham – Craven Cottage
44. Harlow Town – Barrows Farm
45. Harrow Borough – Earlsmead Stadium
46. Hassocks – The Beacon
47. Hastings United – The Pilot Field
48. Havant and Waterlooville – Westleigh Park
49. Haywards Heath Town – Hanbury Park
50. Heybridge Swifts – Scraley Road
51. Hitchin Town – Top Field
52. Horley Town – The New Defence
53. Horsham – Atspeed Stadium
54. Horsham YMCA – Gorings Mead
55. Kingstonian – Kingsmeadow
56. Knaphill – Redding Way
57. Leatherhead – Fetcham Grove
58. Lewes – The Dripping Pan
59. Leyton – Leabridge Road
60. Littlehampton Town – The Sportsfield
61. London Colney – Cotlandswick Playing Fields
62. Luzhniki Stadium - (Torpedo Moscow)
63. Maidenhead United – York Road
64. Manchester United – Old Trafford
65. Margate – Hartsdown Park
66. Merstham – Weldon Way
67. Metropolitan Police – Imber Court
68. Millennium Stadium
69. Northwood – Northwood Park
70. Ramsgate – Southwood
71. Raynes Park Vale – Grand Drive
72. Reading Town – Scours Lane
73. Redhill – Kiln Brow
74. Ringwood Town - Canotec Stadium
75. Poole Town - Tatnam
76. Portsmouth – Fratton Park
77. Preston North End - Deepdale
78. Seaford Town – The Crouch
79. Sittingbourne – Bourne Park
80. Southampton - St Mary’s
81. Staines Town – Wheatsheaf Park
82. Sutton United – Borough Sports Ground
83. Three Bridges – Jubilee Field
84. Tonbridge Angels – Longmead Stadium
85. Tooting and Mitcham United – Imperial Fields
86. Valencia – Mestalla
87. Walton and Hersham – Stompond Lane
88. Walton Casuals – Franklyn Road Sports Ground
89. Watford – Vicarage Road
90. Wealdstone - Grosvenor Vale
91. Welling United – Park View Road
92. Wembley (Old)
93. Wembley (New)
94. Wembley – Vale Farm
95. Weymouth - ‘The’ Wessex Stadium
96. Whyteleafe – Church Road
97. Woking – Kingfield
98. Worthing – Woodside Road
99. Yate Town – Lodge Road
100.Yeading – The Warren
From Kingsmeadow at the tender age of four to Dorchester Town’s Avenue stadium on Saturday, various fixtures and random impulses have taken me to such fantastic grounds as Stamford Bridge (more times than I care to remember), Old Trafford (more times than most Manchester United ‘fans’) and Camp Nou (more times than my dad’s credit card would appreciate!).
But it’s not all been glitz and glamour with – no offence to the following – the Dorking’s decrepit Meadowbank, Ringwood Town’s Canotec Stadium and Wembley (Vale Farm, before you ask) also making the list.
As well as holding my helmet and bat aloft in celebration, I’ve also decided to mark the occasion with a mini awards ceremony.
Best Pre-Match Drinking Facilities
Nominations: Oakwell (Barnsley), The War Memorial Sports Ground (Carshalton Athletic), Stonebridge Road (Ebbsfleet United)
Winner: Oakwell (Barnsley)
Let's begin with the most important category! Although it has no bearing on later categories (namely 'Best Ground')! Despite being shepherded into a leisure centre sports hall selling cans of beer on arrival, we eventually escaped to a very quaint (not to mention reasonably priced!) pub not far from the ground. With a mixture of home and visiting fans enjoying the hospitality, a great atmosphere began building with banter flying backwards and forwards. It all seemed very typical of south Yorkshire and certainly added to the experience of the trip.
Worst Pre-Match Drinking Facilities
Nominations: Priory Lane (Eastbourne Borough - despite boasting probably the best bar in non-league football), Pride Park (Derby County), Crown Ground (Accrington Stanley)
Winner: Pride Park (Derby County)
A 'new ground' in the middle of nowhere, offering little in terms of pre-match beverage facilities except a Frankie and Benny's opposite - which we all piled into, much to the delight of the unsuspecting diners! Needless to say, it was soon 'ram'-packed, with no-one able to get to the bar and people spilling onto the pavement outside for oxygen. Maybe home fans would have a better idea of where to go, but for the average away fan, a ground with a selection of local amenities, where natives and visitors can enjoy some pre-match banter is far more appealing.
Best Food
Nominations: New Lodge (Billericay Town), Atspeed Stadium (Horsham), Wheatsheaf Park (Staines Town)
Winner: New Lodge (Billericay Town)
Whilst many a non-league fan will fight the corner of Thurrock's 'Fleet Burger', I've yet to have the pleasure, although had I managed to make the trip through the Dartford Tunnel, it would take an amazing piece of culinary skill to beat Billericay's steak baguettes. This mouth-watering prospect - available in a variety of forms, including with onions, mushrooms or even fried eggs, causes fans of clubs throughout the Ryman Premier League to hunt frantically for their side's away trip to New Lodge when the fixtures are released each year. And it's well worth the trip...and starving youself for a week ahead of the game to feast upon one at half time and maybe even a cheeky one through a dull and dreary second-half.
Best Atmosphere
Nominations: War Memorial Sports Ground (Carshalton Athletic), Selhurst Park (Crystal Palace), Old Trafford (Manchester United)
Winner: Old Trafford (Manchester United)
As much as it pains me to say it, on each occasion I've been to Old Trafford the atmosphere has been outstanding, both in terms of volume and humour. With the capacity of the ground, this shouldn't be a surprise, but with the 'big clubs' you never really know what to expect, especially with so many foreign visitors and 'once-a-season' supporters crawling out of the woodwork. But credit to the real Manchester United faithful, they do generate a great atmosphere and their unity is evident with the amount of green and yellow on view at games.
Worst Atmosphere
Nominations: Gander Green Lane (Sutton United), Camp Nou (Barcelona), The Pilot Field (Hastings United)
Winner: Camp Nou (Barcelona)
A crazy suggestion to some, with a collosal capacity of 99, 354 the Barca faithful must be able to generate some noise...and boy do they! But for the away fans, hoisted up in the Gods with the players below resembling little more than Subbuteo figures, it's next to impossible to make yourselves heard. And only one set of visibly (well...to the ears...) vocal fans doesn't equate to much of an 'atmosphere', unlike grounds where supporters engage in a battle of volume and wits to act as that all imporant and clichéd 'twelfth man'.
Best Design
Nominations: Millennium Stadium, Griffin Park (Brentford), The New Defence (Horley Town)
Winner: Griffin Park (Brentford)
A pub on each corner you say? That'll do for me!
Worst Design
Nominations: Princes Park (Dartford), Imperial Fields (Tooting and Mitcham United), Wembley Stadium (New)
Winner: Imperial Fields (Tooting and Mitcham United)
Having sold their old Sandy Lane ground and purchasing land previously used as both Chelsea's and Crystal Palace's training ground, the opportunity to spend their finances wisely and build something impressive from scratch was there for the taking. But sadly it slipped through the architect's grasp. Firstly, the main stand looks like it's been put together with leftover bricks from James May's life-size Lego house. But instead of being bright and welcoming, the whole ground is just a big monotone monstrosity. The opposite side to the main stand is very narrow, despite stretching the length of the touchline and behind the goals are 'coverings' - I use the term loosely - which helpfully have no back, sides or even roof. Go figure.
Best Ground
Nominations: Oakwell (Barnsley), Mestalla (Valencia), Stamford Bridge (Chelsea)
Winner: Oakwell (Barnsley)
With Camp Nou, the Mestalla and the Luzhniki Stadium all making my centenary list, Barnsley's modest offering may seem like an odd selection. But on my one visit to Oakwell, despite the result (a 1-0 win against Chelsea in the FA Cup), though probably aided by the cheap northern beer on offer, I completely fell in love with the place. Brimming with character and a real example of an old-school ground of hard knocks, Oakwell is a fine showground for how stadiums should be - not this Ikea flatpack style creeping in now (see Pride Park, St Mary's and even the likes of Wheatsheaf Park in the non-league game). Take a bow Barnsley and don't let the fame change you!
Worst Ground
Nominations: Pride Park (Derby County), Melbourne Stadium (Chelmsford City), the Withdean (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Winner: The Withdean (Brighton and Hove Albion)
A very peculiar ground that offers absolutely nothing, not even a roof (I'll come back to that in a minute). Now admittedly I've been regularly spoiled with trips to top flight grounds around Europe, with superb facilities both inside and outside the ground, especially Stamford Bridge with 'Chelsea Village'. But the Withdean's surroundings are shockingly poor and certainly set the scene for when you go through the turnstiles. The athletics track I was prepared for, but perhaps i should have paid closer attention the the Football League Show on a Saturday night to realise what i was letting myself in for. My experience may have been tainted a bit (ok, a lot) by the fact that it pissed it down for 90 minutes plus and we were in a stand with no roof, surrounded by well-versed folks in waterproof dresses. But the disjointed stands, with the away end seemingly stuck out in the middle of nowhere, and the distance from the pitch thanks to the athletics track certainly didn't help matters. At least I can say I've been...and survived...
And special mentions for...
The Avenue (Dorchester Town), Lodge Road (Yate Town), Fratton Park (Portsmouth), The Dripping Pan (Lewes) and Dean Court (AFC Bournemouth)
The full 100 is as follows:
1. Accrington Stanley – Crown Ground
2. AFC Bournemouth - Dean Court (Fitness First Stadium)
3. AFC Hornchurch – The Stadium
4. Aldershot Town – The Rec
5. Andover – The Portway Stadium
6. Arsenal – Highbury
7. Ashford Town (Kent) - Homelands
8. Ashford Town (Mx) – Short Lane Stadium
9. Aston Villa – Villa Park
10. Aveley – Mill Field
11. Barcelona – Nou Camp
12. Barnsley – Oakwell
13. Bexhill United – The Polegrove
14. Billericay Town – New Lodge
15. Bishop’s Stortford – Woodside Park
16. Bognor Regis Town – Nyewood Lane
17. Boreham Wood – Meadow Park
18. Brentford – Griffin Park
19. Brighton and Hove Albion – The Withdean
20. Bromley – Hayes Lane
21. Canvey Island – Park Lane
22. Cambridge City – The City Ground
23. Cambridge United – The Abbey Stadium
24. Carshalton Athletic – War Memorial Sports Ground
25. Charlton Athletic – The Valley
26. Chelmsford City – Melbourne Stadium
27. Chelsea – Stamford Bridge
28. Chipstead – High Road
29. Crawley Town – Broadfield Stadium
30. Crystal Palace – Selhurst Park
31. Dartford – Princes Park
32. Derby County – Pride Park
33. Dorchester Town – The Avenue
34. Dorking - Meadowbank
35. Dover Athletic – The Crabble
36. Eastbourne Borough – Priory Lane
37. Eastbourne Town – The Saffrons
38. Eastbourne United – The Oval
39. East Thurrock United – Rookery Hill
40. Ebbsfleet United – Stonebridge Road
41. Fareham Town – Cams Alders
42. Folkestone Invicta – The Buzzlines Stadium
43. Fulham – Craven Cottage
44. Harlow Town – Barrows Farm
45. Harrow Borough – Earlsmead Stadium
46. Hassocks – The Beacon
47. Hastings United – The Pilot Field
48. Havant and Waterlooville – Westleigh Park
49. Haywards Heath Town – Hanbury Park
50. Heybridge Swifts – Scraley Road
51. Hitchin Town – Top Field
52. Horley Town – The New Defence
53. Horsham – Atspeed Stadium
54. Horsham YMCA – Gorings Mead
55. Kingstonian – Kingsmeadow
56. Knaphill – Redding Way
57. Leatherhead – Fetcham Grove
58. Lewes – The Dripping Pan
59. Leyton – Leabridge Road
60. Littlehampton Town – The Sportsfield
61. London Colney – Cotlandswick Playing Fields
62. Luzhniki Stadium - (Torpedo Moscow)
63. Maidenhead United – York Road
64. Manchester United – Old Trafford
65. Margate – Hartsdown Park
66. Merstham – Weldon Way
67. Metropolitan Police – Imber Court
68. Millennium Stadium
69. Northwood – Northwood Park
70. Ramsgate – Southwood
71. Raynes Park Vale – Grand Drive
72. Reading Town – Scours Lane
73. Redhill – Kiln Brow
74. Ringwood Town - Canotec Stadium
75. Poole Town - Tatnam
76. Portsmouth – Fratton Park
77. Preston North End - Deepdale
78. Seaford Town – The Crouch
79. Sittingbourne – Bourne Park
80. Southampton - St Mary’s
81. Staines Town – Wheatsheaf Park
82. Sutton United – Borough Sports Ground
83. Three Bridges – Jubilee Field
84. Tonbridge Angels – Longmead Stadium
85. Tooting and Mitcham United – Imperial Fields
86. Valencia – Mestalla
87. Walton and Hersham – Stompond Lane
88. Walton Casuals – Franklyn Road Sports Ground
89. Watford – Vicarage Road
90. Wealdstone - Grosvenor Vale
91. Welling United – Park View Road
92. Wembley (Old)
93. Wembley (New)
94. Wembley – Vale Farm
95. Weymouth - ‘The’ Wessex Stadium
96. Whyteleafe – Church Road
97. Woking – Kingfield
98. Worthing – Woodside Road
99. Yate Town – Lodge Road
100.Yeading – The Warren
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
10 things a footballer should never do
1) Wear gloves
If anything is going to give a 6’4 brick shit-house centre-half the encouragement they probably don’t require much of to come clattering into you before the first whistle’s gone, it’s wearing gloves. Unless you’ve got a number 1 on your back, gloves should always be a big no-no for all footballers. If you’re cold…run more! It not only looks daft but tells 40,000 bloodthirsty, drunken football fans that you enjoy sexual attention from Will Young and co.
2) Even worse – wear short sleeves and gloves
The ultimate clothing oxymoron. Yes, it may not be the 30+ degree matches La Liga often enjoy, so if you really must wrap up warm for physical exertion, choose the long-sleeved option. Maybe even with ‘Skins’ underneath if you have the misfortune of being away at Newcastle in January. I wouldn’t inflict that on anyone, except maybe Tottenham. But to act the hard-man with short-sleeves, then wimp out by pulling on a pair of gloves is utterly ridiculous.
3) Wear multi-coloured monstrosities on their feet
Defenders in white boots not befitting of their position, wingers who look like they’ve dropped a bowl of custard on their boots and strikers whose feet resemble over-sized tic-tacs. Why? You’re either not good enough to warrant drawing that sort of attention to yourself and if in the unlikely event you do have the odd Cruyff-turn in the locker…let your football do the talking. I’m from the real old-school camp. Boots should be black. End of. They look better, they look smarter and most of all, you don’t look like a twat in them. Unless of course, your name is Titus Bramble.
4) Over-elaborate celebrations
It’s always been amusing for opposing fans when players celebrate like monkeys at feeding time and get injured as a result. But the extent of the hilarity this can cause never really hit me fully until I Googled ‘Footballers injured celebrating’. Here are a few of my favourites.
Steve Morrow broke his collar bone after falling off the lofty shoulders of Tony Adams celebrating Arsenal’s 1993 League Cup victory over Sheffield Wednesday.
Perry Groves knocked himself out whilst on the bench during a game – hitting his head on the dugout after jumping up in celebration.
Thierry Henry (there seems to be a distinct Arsenal theme building up here…) required treatment to his face following an over-enthusiastic celebration with a corner flag (at least it was his face…).
Shaun Goater injured his foot when he kicked an advertising board celebrating a goal by Nicolas Anelka (at Manchester City on this occasion, not Arsenal!).
5) Kiss the badge
Cheap, tacky, fake and the one sure-fire way to tell your fans that tomorrow you’ll be buggering off to their local rivals for £1,000 more a week. And even worse (*cough* Gus Poyet *cough*) is kissing said rivals badge when playing against your old club. I love to see Mr Poyet try a move like that in Turkey!
6) Premature celebration
In last season’s FA Cup 4th qualifying round, Tooting and Mitcham United were 3-1 up at home to Blue Square Bet Premier side Eastbourne Borough with just 10 minutes remaining. Tooting’s star striker, Paul Vines, was substituted and received a standing ovation from the err…terraces (ok, and the rather sizeable main stand), to which he responded by repeatedly punching the air. Match ticket - £10. Half-time burger - £3 (and a dodgy stomach). Seeing Vines’ face as Eastbourne pulled a goal back and then netted an injury-time equaliser – Absolutely priceless!
7) Sign for Portsmouth
Now this isn’t an attack on dear old Pompey. There are many things I love about Portsmouth. Well no, ok, just Fratton Park. And that’s largely because I have the same taste in football grounds as Cheryl Cole has in men! As a player, if Pompey come calling, you know you’re probably guaranteed a game so long as you turn up by 2:55 on a Saturday afternoon. That’s the good news. The bad news is your career is probably going to come to a screeching halt and slowly spiral down into oblivion. So now the entire footballing world knows you have absolutely no ambition…but at least you’re not a money-grabbing wanker. Every cloud…
8) Date tarts with plastic boobs
I’m not bitter…honest!
9) Get their names/their children’s names on their boots
Now I’ll hold my hands up, in my lifetime I’ve owned two cars. I’ve given both names. But they’ve both been tongue-in-cheek and I would never dream of getting ‘Ben’ (Benito Carbone…yes I’m that sad) embossed on my Corsa. Doing the same thing with boots is a monstrosity. Admittedly, footballers have a reputation of not being the sharpest tools in the box and often they live upto this stereotype. But I’m sure even Joey Barton can remember his own name…he’s had to say it often enough in court! And at a push, he can probably recite the names of his kids too – if he has any. So what need is there for players to get the names of either themselves or their offspring stitched onto their footwear?
10) Verbally kill off your still very-much-alive grandparents to get out of international duty
Oh dear Stephen Ireland, oh dear. Now sit down and focus dear reader, this is a complex and increasingly tangled web of lies spun by the then Manchester City man in order to excuse himself from international duty. Here goes. Ireland originally told his country that his maternal grandmother had passed away. Upon reading of her own death in the papers, she came out and told the world that she was still very much alive and kicking. The footballer, clearly confused by his grief, then changed his story to say that it was in fact his paternal grandmother who had died. Guess what? She too was still with us and she too wasn’t backwards in coming forwards with that information. Ireland, obviously not knowing when to give it up, then said his grandparents were divorced and it was his grandfather’s elderly partner who was next to be verbally killed off. Another lie exposed. Learn when to put the spade down, Stephen.
N.B. It should also be noted that the real reason Ireland wanted to be excused was because his girlfriend had suffered a miscarriage. Why it didn’t cross his mind to say that from the start, well, your guess is as good as mine.
If anything is going to give a 6’4 brick shit-house centre-half the encouragement they probably don’t require much of to come clattering into you before the first whistle’s gone, it’s wearing gloves. Unless you’ve got a number 1 on your back, gloves should always be a big no-no for all footballers. If you’re cold…run more! It not only looks daft but tells 40,000 bloodthirsty, drunken football fans that you enjoy sexual attention from Will Young and co.
2) Even worse – wear short sleeves and gloves
The ultimate clothing oxymoron. Yes, it may not be the 30+ degree matches La Liga often enjoy, so if you really must wrap up warm for physical exertion, choose the long-sleeved option. Maybe even with ‘Skins’ underneath if you have the misfortune of being away at Newcastle in January. I wouldn’t inflict that on anyone, except maybe Tottenham. But to act the hard-man with short-sleeves, then wimp out by pulling on a pair of gloves is utterly ridiculous.
3) Wear multi-coloured monstrosities on their feet
Defenders in white boots not befitting of their position, wingers who look like they’ve dropped a bowl of custard on their boots and strikers whose feet resemble over-sized tic-tacs. Why? You’re either not good enough to warrant drawing that sort of attention to yourself and if in the unlikely event you do have the odd Cruyff-turn in the locker…let your football do the talking. I’m from the real old-school camp. Boots should be black. End of. They look better, they look smarter and most of all, you don’t look like a twat in them. Unless of course, your name is Titus Bramble.
4) Over-elaborate celebrations
It’s always been amusing for opposing fans when players celebrate like monkeys at feeding time and get injured as a result. But the extent of the hilarity this can cause never really hit me fully until I Googled ‘Footballers injured celebrating’. Here are a few of my favourites.
Steve Morrow broke his collar bone after falling off the lofty shoulders of Tony Adams celebrating Arsenal’s 1993 League Cup victory over Sheffield Wednesday.
Perry Groves knocked himself out whilst on the bench during a game – hitting his head on the dugout after jumping up in celebration.
Thierry Henry (there seems to be a distinct Arsenal theme building up here…) required treatment to his face following an over-enthusiastic celebration with a corner flag (at least it was his face…).
Shaun Goater injured his foot when he kicked an advertising board celebrating a goal by Nicolas Anelka (at Manchester City on this occasion, not Arsenal!).
5) Kiss the badge
Cheap, tacky, fake and the one sure-fire way to tell your fans that tomorrow you’ll be buggering off to their local rivals for £1,000 more a week. And even worse (*cough* Gus Poyet *cough*) is kissing said rivals badge when playing against your old club. I love to see Mr Poyet try a move like that in Turkey!
6) Premature celebration
In last season’s FA Cup 4th qualifying round, Tooting and Mitcham United were 3-1 up at home to Blue Square Bet Premier side Eastbourne Borough with just 10 minutes remaining. Tooting’s star striker, Paul Vines, was substituted and received a standing ovation from the err…terraces (ok, and the rather sizeable main stand), to which he responded by repeatedly punching the air. Match ticket - £10. Half-time burger - £3 (and a dodgy stomach). Seeing Vines’ face as Eastbourne pulled a goal back and then netted an injury-time equaliser – Absolutely priceless!
7) Sign for Portsmouth
Now this isn’t an attack on dear old Pompey. There are many things I love about Portsmouth. Well no, ok, just Fratton Park. And that’s largely because I have the same taste in football grounds as Cheryl Cole has in men! As a player, if Pompey come calling, you know you’re probably guaranteed a game so long as you turn up by 2:55 on a Saturday afternoon. That’s the good news. The bad news is your career is probably going to come to a screeching halt and slowly spiral down into oblivion. So now the entire footballing world knows you have absolutely no ambition…but at least you’re not a money-grabbing wanker. Every cloud…
8) Date tarts with plastic boobs
I’m not bitter…honest!
9) Get their names/their children’s names on their boots
Now I’ll hold my hands up, in my lifetime I’ve owned two cars. I’ve given both names. But they’ve both been tongue-in-cheek and I would never dream of getting ‘Ben’ (Benito Carbone…yes I’m that sad) embossed on my Corsa. Doing the same thing with boots is a monstrosity. Admittedly, footballers have a reputation of not being the sharpest tools in the box and often they live upto this stereotype. But I’m sure even Joey Barton can remember his own name…he’s had to say it often enough in court! And at a push, he can probably recite the names of his kids too – if he has any. So what need is there for players to get the names of either themselves or their offspring stitched onto their footwear?
10) Verbally kill off your still very-much-alive grandparents to get out of international duty
Oh dear Stephen Ireland, oh dear. Now sit down and focus dear reader, this is a complex and increasingly tangled web of lies spun by the then Manchester City man in order to excuse himself from international duty. Here goes. Ireland originally told his country that his maternal grandmother had passed away. Upon reading of her own death in the papers, she came out and told the world that she was still very much alive and kicking. The footballer, clearly confused by his grief, then changed his story to say that it was in fact his paternal grandmother who had died. Guess what? She too was still with us and she too wasn’t backwards in coming forwards with that information. Ireland, obviously not knowing when to give it up, then said his grandparents were divorced and it was his grandfather’s elderly partner who was next to be verbally killed off. Another lie exposed. Learn when to put the spade down, Stephen.
N.B. It should also be noted that the real reason Ireland wanted to be excused was because his girlfriend had suffered a miscarriage. Why it didn’t cross his mind to say that from the start, well, your guess is as good as mine.
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Can England retain their Ashes title or will Andrew Srauss’ side burn-out in the heat of Australia?
With just 24 hours to go until England begin their Ashes title defence down-under, Hannah Duncan casts a critical eye over the visitor’s chances.
Having touched-down in the ‘convict colony’ nearly a month ago, Andrew Strauss’ side have got their Australia tour off to a flyer – with two dominant victories either side of a draw against South Australia.
But it’s all well and good playing neat cover drives and manufacturing more spin than the government’s PR department against second-rate opposition, but it remains a tall order to replicate the form England have enjoyed for best part of 2010 against Ricky Ponting’s Australia side determined to claim back the little urn on home turf.
For the average cricket fan (or at least the average overly-optimistic England fan), the visitors probably go into the first Test tomorrow as narrow favourites for the series, although Bet365 currently have England down as 7/4 underdogs, with an Australian victory at 21/20 and a draw at 9/2.
And in a sense it’s easy to see why. England have not won a series in Australia for 24 years. The conditions don’t really suit our bowlers very well as it will be tough to gain much in the way of swing, making the lives of James Anderson and co. very difficult. And potentially most tellingly, Kevin Pietersen has yet to find the form he and the selectors promised he would.
Before the squad departed England, I spoke to former England captain Alec Stewart about the form of Pietersen and he insisted that he’s “England’s best player in all forms of the game.”
But whilst it’s nice to see support for the team collectively and as individuals, the positive words won’t offer much comfort if the South African-born batsman continues to be dismissed cheaply.
Nevertheless, Stewart maintains, “Pietersen wants to do well. I expect him to score very heavily in the Ashes series. I’m a huge fan of his.”
And the former Surrey man – where Pietersen now plies his County trade – believes, “He’s gone through a run of bad form but very good players come out of those little dips in form. Pietersen will come out of that dip and I’m sure he’ll hit the road running as soon as the Ashes begin.”
One player who seems to have regained form since landing down-under is captain Andrew Strauss, who has struggled to really make the sort of impact with the bat from which he gained so many plaudits prior to taking on the captaincy. But with two formidable centuries under his belt in the warm-up matches (in one of which he remained unbeaten), Strauss’ form could be returning to its peak at just the right time.
And with Alastair Cook, Jonathan Trott, Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood all chipping in with solid innings and the odd flamboyant century (helmets off to Bell for his superb 192 against Australia A), the batting order look to be settling into the Aussie wickets nicely.
With the ball, no individual has really shone consistently, but each of the bowling attack has contributed fairly evenly, hopefully boosting the confidence of the group without being too reliant upon one or two stand-out bowlers, unlike in previous series’.
All in all, it’s been a successful start to the Australia tour for England. Andrew Strauss and his team have so far hit the wicket running but a far from easy ride lies ahead over the next few weeks. And whilst the big grey cloud continues to linger over Kevin Pietersen and his bat, England cannot rest on their laurels. A tough winter is certainly set to be in store for the Ashes holders, but it still looks to be our best chance for many a year down-under.
Whether that says more about England or Australia remains to be seen.
Having touched-down in the ‘convict colony’ nearly a month ago, Andrew Strauss’ side have got their Australia tour off to a flyer – with two dominant victories either side of a draw against South Australia.
But it’s all well and good playing neat cover drives and manufacturing more spin than the government’s PR department against second-rate opposition, but it remains a tall order to replicate the form England have enjoyed for best part of 2010 against Ricky Ponting’s Australia side determined to claim back the little urn on home turf.
For the average cricket fan (or at least the average overly-optimistic England fan), the visitors probably go into the first Test tomorrow as narrow favourites for the series, although Bet365 currently have England down as 7/4 underdogs, with an Australian victory at 21/20 and a draw at 9/2.
And in a sense it’s easy to see why. England have not won a series in Australia for 24 years. The conditions don’t really suit our bowlers very well as it will be tough to gain much in the way of swing, making the lives of James Anderson and co. very difficult. And potentially most tellingly, Kevin Pietersen has yet to find the form he and the selectors promised he would.
Before the squad departed England, I spoke to former England captain Alec Stewart about the form of Pietersen and he insisted that he’s “England’s best player in all forms of the game.”
But whilst it’s nice to see support for the team collectively and as individuals, the positive words won’t offer much comfort if the South African-born batsman continues to be dismissed cheaply.
Nevertheless, Stewart maintains, “Pietersen wants to do well. I expect him to score very heavily in the Ashes series. I’m a huge fan of his.”
And the former Surrey man – where Pietersen now plies his County trade – believes, “He’s gone through a run of bad form but very good players come out of those little dips in form. Pietersen will come out of that dip and I’m sure he’ll hit the road running as soon as the Ashes begin.”
One player who seems to have regained form since landing down-under is captain Andrew Strauss, who has struggled to really make the sort of impact with the bat from which he gained so many plaudits prior to taking on the captaincy. But with two formidable centuries under his belt in the warm-up matches (in one of which he remained unbeaten), Strauss’ form could be returning to its peak at just the right time.
And with Alastair Cook, Jonathan Trott, Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood all chipping in with solid innings and the odd flamboyant century (helmets off to Bell for his superb 192 against Australia A), the batting order look to be settling into the Aussie wickets nicely.
With the ball, no individual has really shone consistently, but each of the bowling attack has contributed fairly evenly, hopefully boosting the confidence of the group without being too reliant upon one or two stand-out bowlers, unlike in previous series’.
All in all, it’s been a successful start to the Australia tour for England. Andrew Strauss and his team have so far hit the wicket running but a far from easy ride lies ahead over the next few weeks. And whilst the big grey cloud continues to linger over Kevin Pietersen and his bat, England cannot rest on their laurels. A tough winter is certainly set to be in store for the Ashes holders, but it still looks to be our best chance for many a year down-under.
Whether that says more about England or Australia remains to be seen.
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